Intimacy Issues: How to Climax When Intercourse is Not Enough
Intimacy Issues Volume One: Chapter One
Individual Preference Should Not Limit Sexual Fulfillment
Women are empowered to revel in the ecstasy of orgasm, and to de-mystify the question of how to climax you have to accept that penetration is just one of many ways to fulfillment. It is a fact that many women do not reach climax during sex. According to the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the female orgasm is “less predictable, more varied” than that of men and occurs with less frequency. This recent study reveals that just 62.9% of women report achieving orgasm through “standard” sexual activity. You can read that as “vanilla” or “missionary style” or “just plain boring.”
Thankfully, western society’s long-standing embargo on the open discussion of human sexuality continues to lift, offering an abundance of avenues for women to choose when immersing themselves in pleasure. The door to solving a challenge with climaxing is opened by gaining a deeper understanding of your sexual biology. Women with intimacy issues can grow through self-examination, experimental masturbation and honest communication with their partners.
Everyone is Unique
Contrary to how sex is portrayed in the movies, female pleasure is far more complex than simply ripping off the clothes and gyrating with vigor. Achieving climax for a woman can be an involved endeavor due to the fact that every individual experiences pleasure in their own distinct way, and the variance from one person to the next can be as stark as night and day. Some women enjoy penetration while others prefer clitoral stimulation. Then, there are those who reach orgasm easily and there are those who require multiple points of excitement in order to climax. Meanwhile, some women require a slow, deliberate transition from soft foreplay to full commitment in order to reach the pinnacle of ecstasy.
Discovering How to Climax
A study by Planned Parenthood reveals that one in three women report the inability to climax during sexual contact, and seventy percent of women disclose difficulty achieving orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. This clearly indicates that penetration is not the universal path to female fulfillment, and lack of orgasms from said contact may not be the result of intimacy issues and are more likely linked to simple biological facts. If you are among the majority of women who do not peak from penetration alone, it is time to assess all of your erogenous zones, and to determine which combinations of stimuli are required to get you over the rainbow. The best way to do this is to embark on a journey of self-discovery through a series of “me time” sessions wherein you explore your body and how it responds to stimulation using your hands, personal massagers, vibrating bullets and a variety of adult toys engineered to provide pleasure that leads to climax.
The Mighty “C”
The clitoris contains up to 8,000 sensory nerve endings, and stimulation to this seemingly small target can affect up to 15,000 additional nerves in the pelvic region. This is because the visible parts of the clitoris (the head and the hood) are but a small part of several intricately structured tissues — the rest of which exist inside the body. These include the clitoral shaft, the clitoral legs, erectile tissue, vestibular bulbs and the urethral sponge. It is important to pinpoint precisely where your clitoral head and hood are, as exact location can vary. Since most women agree that achieving orgasm without clitoral stimulation is either difficult or impossible, getting to know your clitoris allows you to take control of your own pleasure and better understand your orgasm-related intimacy issues. You can bring yourself to to climax by masturbationg with your fingers, and you can augment the experience by adding a vibrating adult toy into the equation that will introduce powerfully arousing sensations to your clitoris. This organ swells in conjunction with arousal, so the more you turn yourself on — the easier it is to continue stimulation due to temporary increase in size and sensitivity.
The Invisible “G”
The G-spot is sometimes referred to as the female prostate, and is located along the upper wall (ceiling) of the vaginal canal, approximately two to three inches from the vaginal opening. The area is characterized by a thicker, slightly rougher texture of tissue that, when stimulated produces powerfully pleasurable sensations. There is plenty of debate as to the exact size, shape and location of the G-spot, yet given its proximity to the clitoris, it is no doubt neurologically linked to its responsive neighbor and more than likely shares tissue with the urethral sponge and vestibular bulbs. You can stimulate your G-spot by inserting a finger or two into your vagina and repeatedly curling them towards the center of your palm. You’ll notice your thumb’s convenient proximity to your clitoris, at which point you can apply it there and explore the additional sensations. Simultaneous stimulation of these two powerful areas increases your pleasure and thus, your probability of achieving orgasm. This sort of recreation doesn’t have to come with a case of carpal tunnel syndrome, however, and that’s why clitoral and G-spot masturbation using specifically designed adult toys is a method preferred by many. You can also use multiple toys to achieve orgasm by using a mini vibrator to arouse your clitoris while penetrating to your G-spot with an additional vibrating toy.
Communicate and Celebrate
Once you have explored your body and you understand what gets you hot and takes you over the top, it’s time to let your possibly clueless partner in on your secrets. If you are like most women, vaginal stimulation alone is not going to get you there. Sex with a trusted and informed partner, however, can go from a once-frustrating endeavor to a deeply fulfilling experience. If clitoral stimulation is essential for you, your partner needs to know that so they can participate in your orgasmic joy with generous amounts of pre-coital cunnilingus and manual clitoral stimulation during penetration. The latter is classically known as “the reach around” when performed from a reverse position, but can be achieved during missionary-style sex with a position called Coital Alignment Technique. In this position your partner deliberately positions their pelvic bone atop your clitoris and maintains snug contact in unison with a slow and rhythmic forward and backward hip-rocking grind versus thrusts. Next, tip your pelvis downward into the bed and guide him on using his body weight to achieve just the right amount of pressure on your clitoral area that feels good to you. According to a study in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, continuing this consistent contact, pressure and rhythm was shown to increase the chances of women having an orgasm by 56%. You can also empower your partner’s efforts to please you by using a vibrator that you wear or equipping him with an adult vibrating toy that stimulates your clitoris during penetration. You can then coach them along with plenty of assuring verbal guidance.
Overcoming Intimacy Issues with Playful Solutions
If you are a woman who is discovering how to climax in the myriad of methods beyond penetration, you can view what may once have been a setback as an opportunity. You can explore the many ways of reaching that ecstatic state using adult toys designed for solo use and those intended to be enjoyed by you and your partner. Accessories that vibrate and rings made for dual pleasure can be the missing link that help you climax without penetration. In your journey, it is your role to allow yourself to experience the pinnacles of pleasure and to effectively communicate with your partner so that they can participate in getting you there.
Vibe Wines™ offers helpful information on sex and relationships, and is an online destination for adult accessories that help people overcome intimacy issues such as how to climax when penetration isn’t enough.
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